Wednesday evening

Today was an absolutely incredible day . . . we are home!!! When I (Amy) think back to just a few nights ago, that wasn't even a thought in my mind. We were told to prepare for a long and difficult journey. And yet, our God is able. Here we are. Pearce is sleeping soundly in his bed just a mere 36 hours after brain surgery to relieve his hydrocephalus. His spirits are great and he is happy to be at home and working on his new Lego sets that he received while in the hospital. His sense of humor is back . . . he said to us on the way home from the hospital tonight, "Just so you know, I was really only in this for all of the presents." Oh to hear that sweet voice in the back seat and to look in my side mirror as Brian drove us home and to see the sun on his face was one of the sweetest sights I have ever seen.

We stand in awe of our God. He has spared our son. He has heard all of your prayers as you literally banged on the doors of heaven begging God for a miracle. Thank you. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you dear friends. He has heard. He has moved. And we are beside ourselves with gratefulness and thankfulness.

Monday night, the night before Pearce's surgery was scary. We had just met with the doctor and as Brian told you all, we were made aware of the risks of the surgery. I heard the doctor say the word "catastrophic" if a vital artery in the brain was punctured, and I heard nothing else from that point on.  My mind swirled with the possibility of losing Pearce once again. I felt like after a full 24 hours of feeling hopeful, I was once again swallowed by the fear and confusion of the unknown. As we tried to process what we had heard later in Pearce's hospital room, I kept telling God and Brian, "but this is my son." "I love this boy more than anything.""I would do absolutely anything to take this from him." And God whispered to my heart, "That is how much I love my Son."

My heart broke all over again as I thought of God willingly sending his Son, Jesus Christ, to die. And yet, God knew He would do that from the very beginning. Early on in our conversations about Pearce's tumor, I told Brian that I couldn't do it. I couldn't be the mom of a child that had a brain tumor . . . that might die a slow, painful death. I couldn't live through losing one of our children. He held me and told me that I had to. There was no choice. This was a road we had to walk down. We had to do it. He said that if anyone had told us about the pain and heartache that would befall us before we became parents, we would never have chosen to do it. He is right. And yet, God did it. God saw the desperate situation of man - separated from Himself because of sin. And He sent his own Son to be born, to live and to die for every one of us. Willingly, because of His great love for us, He did it.

Throughout my life as a believer, I have prayed to know the full weight and redemption of Easter. As Christians, it is a day when we reflect on Jesus' painful and willing death on the cross, and celebrate His resurrection and triumph over death. This Easter week, I feel like I can catch only a glimpse of the sadness, the heartbreak, the pain of God's decision to let His own Son die for us. He of course is God, and so I don't have his mind, heart, wisdom and I don't want to compare myself to Him at all, but I feel the weight of Easter like I never have before. My desperation as a mother to have my son spared, to take his tumor out and put it into my own brain, to end his pain and fear . . . it is only a fraction of what God must have felt at the thought of using the death of His Son to reconcile us to Himself. It is both humbling and sobering. And again, I stand in awe of our awesome Creator and Father. The one who gave Everything so that we might have life . . . that is love.

Daniel 3:16-18
"Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king,
'O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods . . . '"

Our friend paraphrased this so beautifully when she said,
"God is able to deliver us from this fire, BUT IF NOT, we still will not serve your god."

Our God is able to completely heal Pearce, but if He does not, may we all have the grace to respond as Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego did.

We pray that we don't have to update this blog in the future, that after today, this is the last that you hear from us. Please continue to pray with us that Pearce's surgery to resolve his hydrocephalus is a success. Pray that when the neuro-oncologist reviews his MRI in three months that his tumor is completely gone, and that Pearce will live the rest of his life as a normal little boy, young man and one day a father and grandfather . . . and to God be ALL of the glory. Thank you all for your prayers, visits, calls, texts, emails, presents for Pearce, and providing for our family in the way of childcare, meals and errands. We are overwhelmed by your generousness, your thoughtfulness and your kindness. We love you all.

Love,
Brian and Amy